Monday, April 10, 2017

What I really think about #selflove

Being in the fitness industry there is a huge hashtag that is floating around that has really been causing me to think about things in my own life. #selflove
Yes is self love important? To an extent yet people are starting to believe this idea of self love and using it as an excuse, well that's my opinion and let me explain.
#selflove What does this even mean? Love yourself. Ok great and I do agree that you should be confident at any stage of your life. No matter what you need to be comfortable where you are at. Now here is my disagreement. Self-love is an excuses for people to just say "I am ok with where I am at". That is called stagnation. If your not moving forward you are standing still. Why would you want to stay in the same place you are at?
Let’s be real: We don’t wake up one day and decide: Oh hey, you know what I’m ugly/stupid/lazy/etc. We are conditioned to believe that because of our environment like family, friends, classmates, media, society. We are constantly trying to live up to the expectations of "social media" which we all know is just highlight reels of people who are cropping the ever living daylights out of their photos to get "likes" and follows.
So here is the problem that I see with this self love. A lot of people preaching self-love are not coming from a place of true honesty. I will say that I am not the most confident yet I do love who I am. Does that mean I need to be posting photos of me at my best physique all the time? Or even the dedication and discipline I have in training? NO. Most people ask me why I always wear a hoodie to train. The truth is this, I have NOTHING to prove to anyone on how I look. I will not be a person to strip down and flaunt myself. Hell I don't even like going to the beach and I live at it. Why? Because I just don't see the need to be sexual for others. Does it get more attention. Of course. Is it promoting self love.... well I don't think so.
I am going to bite the bullet and make a harsh statement. Most of us are fighting daily battles and saying something like: Oh girl you don’t love yourself enough. You’re saying that because you have low self-esteem. True or false ? Fake it till you make it. I know this too well but guess what, at the end of the day sugar coating the issues are not fixing them.
Self-love tends to have this air of perfectionism and over-generalized mumbo jumbo that leads to confusion or just grandiose-thinking, for the most part, which then leads to this false self-esteem. I’m human. There are going to be days where I feel like a hot mess. There are going to be days where I want to cry and just stay home. Does that mean I don't love myself? Does this mean I don’t have self-esteem? Does this mean I don’t love myself because not every thought I have is loving or positive?Of course not. We all have off days.
Ok so if self love is not really true then what is ? You need to find a group of awesome people that you can surround yourself with. Align your goals with someone else and make an impact on people. You have to stop trying to LOVE yourself and start accepting yourself. Life isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. You need to develop a sense of acceptance but also a willingness to want to be better. Don't let self love stop you from really chasing your vision. Accept what is out of your control and change the things that you can. Understand and accept that you’re not perfect, you will never be perfect.
And that’s perfectly okay. Keep doing you <3

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