Monday, February 27, 2017

Your purpose is bigger than what you think!

Do you that you have a purpose? If you are alive, breathing and reading this your purpose is far greater than you can imagine. How can you really be satisfied in life when you don't appreciate who you are?
This is going to be one of the realest posts that I ever make. I think its important for people to see that your value is incredibly important in this world. You are a beautiful being that deserves anything in life that you want to accomplish.
Life is worth living. You need to embrace yourself, your value and respect that your life is precious. I am very guilty of not valuing myself. I am very hateful of who I am. I love helping others, I love showing others how to love themselves but deep down I am very unhappy with myself. Behind the walls that I put is is a lonely life of wanting to feel accepted. By who? Myself. Guess what? My own standards are so high I will never reach it. So yes am I sabotaging my life, of course. This is my defense mechanism to block out failure.
Fear of failure is real in my life. I want to always be in a position of success and I don't like the feeling of not being in control. I choose to control everything in my life. I make unrealistic goals that I know I have to keep pushing for but I make "safe" choices. Of course I love what I do but I preach love to others, you know what? I need to preach that to myself.
I know so many of you can relate to the constant battle between wanting something for yourself and wanting to feel accepted. Why is it that to feel accepted we want others to approve? I have been in denial my whole life about who I am. Honestly, I don't even know. I am very "intense" in every single thing I do. I expect myself and those around me to raise to a higher level. I want others to see they are capable of much more than they ever thought of. However, this also makes it very hard for me to open up and enjoy life.
Anxiety and stress are two things that I am learning to live with. I have a hard time shutting out negativity and I am always worried that I made a mistake. One thing that I am getting better at is really owning any mistake that I make. Most of the time it's me telling Eric I am sorry for being a little cray cray and that he deserves more. We all deserve more myself included.
I want others to know that if you feel like you are hard on yourself, like you just don't know how to get it right, or like your life is not where you want it to be, it's ok. You are on a journey just like me to find yourself. I pray often for peace and clarity. I pray for hope that I can see myself like others see me. I hope you can do the same if you struggle like I do. Loving yourself is hard. Accepting who you are is also a challenge. I would only hope that one day I will look back and see that this challenge was for me to share my message to others about love, self acceptance and hope that you can be whatever you want without the approval of others.
Look in the mirror and see all the beauty you have. You are YOU!! Unique, beautiful and special to life. We all have a purpose. Find your why and know that you have the power to conquer life with grace !

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