“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
Why do we continue to compare our self worth to the lives of others? Stop comparing yourself to others! Everyone tells us not to do it. “Don’t compare yourself to her.” We all know they are right, that we should only compare ourselves today to yesterday. Yet we still continue to look at others and make comparisons. Why?
Why do you look at social media and compare yourself to them? Don't forget you are looking at their highlight reel. You’re smart, funny, and genuinely good at heart.You have ideas that could solve many of the problems you see around you. So why don't you think that you deserve more?
Something holds you back.Something tells you that your ideas are not worth announcing in public. Something keeps you from sharing your interesting stories. Something stops you from giving all you’ve got and taking all you need from your closest relationships.Even though you know that you can be so much more, deep down you have a nagging feeling that you are not worthy of greatness, accolade, pure joy, and happiness.
How can we start to fix these thoughts?
First off, stop trying to please other people. In this life, you are responsible for you, and no one else. Next, learn to say NO. Say it often and be ok with it. I struggle with the word no. I have a hard time putting what I want to do first in fear of disappointing someone else. Which leads us right back to, stop trying to please other people.
It's ok to make mistakes, hell if your making a mistake that means you took a risk and didn't play it safe. You can beat yourself up over a failure, or you can give yourself the permission to make mistakes and vow to learn from them. Let’s face it, whichever route you take, you will still make some mistakes in your life.
If you do make a mistake, take responsibility for that action.Quit the regret and focus on repair.Always be prepared to say “I’m sorry” followed by “How can I fix it?” and make sure you put in genuine effort to fix things in a way that is acceptable to everyone involved.
Are you all in? or all out? Stop trying to go back and forth on your decisions.Don’t worry about whether it will come out right. Don’t worry if you might disappoint people. Don’t worry about whether you are worthy of your decision, you are !our self-esteem is a measure of how worthy you think you are. Don’t look outward for affirmations. Set your own expectations of who you should be and then do all you can to live up to those expectations. You have it in you to be the person you can be proud of.
You will never find happiness if you are looking for the validation of others. Be you, be your authentic self. Own your shit and keep moving forward.