Every once in a while it's nice to write from my heart instead of writing more informational things. So many things have been going on and I feel that people can relate to what I want to say about things. First off and foremost, it's apparent that right now in this time of my life changes need to happen.
My goals are forever shifting from what I enjoy doing and how I can continue to challenge myself. The most exciting things I can speak about is my new adventure with The Garage Games as the Northeast regional director. I get the opportunity to speak to other CrossFit boxes and help people plan events for their boxes. It's a great chance to really learn a lot about organization and planning.
Then comes my own personal goals. I have been going back and forth from what I want to do. But what do I REALLY want to do? I lot of my uncertainty comes from a deep desire to just feel accepted by a community of people. I am holding off on doing a show and my training is now performance based only. The thought of trying to convince myself that I should be stage lean all year round and go back down that road is a chance I am not willing to take. I LOVE training hard. My passion is the grinding of training to really challenge myself. I have never felt the way I do when I hear 3,2,1 GO and competition begins.
My passion is helping people, but what good am I if I can't help myself? What good can I do if I am always worried about the thoughts and opinions of others? I am learning to challenge my energy into something great and that is to educate and change the lives of others ! In order to do this I need to really challenge myself and my self thoughts to make it happen.
Body image is one thing but letting it consume your life is unacceptable which is what I have done for far too long. If anyone else ever had these days of insecurity you know the feeling you get when life seems to be holding you down and you don't know how to get out of it.
In order for me to make an impact I nee to be willing to walk through the fire of my own life and fight the fears that hold me back. I have goals that are bigger than life. To be able to accomplish these goals require 100% dedication but without a goal you just have a dream without a deadline. I have 2 CrossFit competitions coming up that I am training for and I am learning that how I look is not nearly as important as what I can do for this world!