Sunday, February 21, 2016

Become a savage, destroy the inner evil !

There is a long long journey that I am creating. One that is both beautiful, scary and different all wrapped into an amazing series of events that help shape the woman I am today. At times, doubt overcomes me. Insecurities tend to replay in my mind. Thoughts of being "not enough" are demons I face EVERY DAY. I call it a demon because although they are not seen, they are heard. Heard in the silence of the night or the little voice that claims my energy when I need it the most. It's hard to admit it, it's hard to place myself in a vulnerable position to say all of this out loud but my voice needs to be heard as someone will be out there who NEEDS to hear these words to calm their mind.

I have created a life that I enjoy. One that I learn to thrive in. My heart and soul is devoted into the lives of people. To see success. To be there for any failure. To keep motivation alive when hope is lost. I know that in my life, I learned to make a circle of influence that makes me BETTER ! A group of support, of love and of selfless compassion that is there for anything. Many days are for positive reminders that I too am doing well. Other days I lend out my words of encouragement of support. When you surround yourself with people you WANT to be like, you will  not fail. You might stumble on your path but you will know that you have a group of people who sincerely have your back. \

There is an overwhelming sense of shame going on in life today. 


  • a feeling of guilt, regret, or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong
  • : ability to feel guilt, regret, or embarrassment
  • : dishonor or disgrace

I could go on and on with this topic because I have personally been INFECTED with shame.  I say Infected because shame is a poison I allowed to penetrate many areas of my life. It's allowing the influence of others take that rule over my thoughts. Then those people start to take over those demons in  my mind creating fictitious thoughts of "what if" and making me forget the real passion and reason behind what I do, A lot of shame resides in the hard truth that I am a female that is HUNGRY for more. I do not accept a weakness. I make my weaknesses points of strength. I have a group of support that pick me up when I struggle the most. Those who understand the passion and heart behind it. And even on days when I feel like giving up, I always come back to the reason I do what I do.  Want to know the secret ? How I remain focused and motivated ? Here is it .... 

I train because it's a place of personal development and growth. I see limitless potential of what I am capable of accomplishing. A limit cannot be placed on me in the gym. There is failure, there is growth, there is a sense of success. Goals are always recreated then destroyed by creating new personal bests. I am able to channel my anger, fears, anxiety and heart in training. It's my place of ultimate peace of mind. I feel nothing.. The world is not around me and I am finally at peace. The noise in my head is quiet. It's just me in my element. At total peace. 

For me this works. I am content with being questioned for what I do. I am ok with not following the norm. And most of all, those who really support me will be there to back me up in any situation. For that I thank my inner circle of people who love and care about me and understand the passion, pain and purpose behind my love of fitness.

helping people reach their fullest potential is important to me. I want to help be a part of someones circle of support and encouragement when it's needed the most ! 

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