Monday, December 7, 2015

Say What you Mean

Did you ever need to talk to someone but you just didn't know how to start the conversation? The one thing about people that bothers me the most is trying to beat around the bush in order to say something. Confrontation either good or bad is sometimes a challenge to address. However, you need to learn to say exactly what you mean each and every time you speak. It does take time and practice but in the end people will understand there is no hidden meaning behind what you say.

The first step to recognizing your communication barriers is to take a closer look at the lessons you learned in your earliest relationships. Think back to your relationship with your parents, friends or significant other. How did you differ in each relationship and what was different? Think about the conversation and how you felt. Did you respect their feelings and opinions and their beliefs? Did they respect you and your feelings? These are the things you need to think about when communicating with others.
Once you have reflected a bit on what you learned about communication, think about how you see these early lessons playing out in your relationships as an adult.Are there certain people that are more difficult to communicate with?Are there certain topics that create an immense amount of anxiety or avoidance in you when you even think about talking about them? What are your communication hot buttons in your relationships? Are you respected when you communicate with certain people or do you have a hard time expressing your thoughts based on their reaction?
Spending some time exploring these early messages will likely reveal subtle, or significant, blocks for you in your interpersonal communication. Start with the small stuff. Even with the small stuff, things can seem big. Some people actually have more difficulty with the small stuff, like saying where you’d like to go on a date, or that you don’t like sushi, or that you’d rather scratch your eye balls out than watch another football game. I am encouraging you to think about all of your communication on big and small topics with integrity, honesty, mindfulness, and love for yourself and others.

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