Saturday, March 21, 2015

Don't let Jealously impact your life !

Think back into high school when there was that one group of people that you looked at and just thought "If I could be just like them I would be_____!" and you insert your blank. Most of us know this feeling of being jealous of someone in our lives. Somehow the feelings of jealous go from high school pettiness of who is cool and who isn't to women shaming each other, creating rumors, or making hurtful comments.



The thing is, that as long as you are looking for a "reason" to be jealous, you will always find someone who has something that seems better than what you have. It's human and it's natural.
There is always a woman who just seems to have you beat in some way and it just gets to you. She may appear more successful in her career, personal relationships and lifestyle. She seems to have her life together, seems to be smarter, more charming, more whatever....
BUT the truth is...
There is someone also looking at YOU wishing to have the life you live. Don't let jealous rule your life or make you bitter towards someone. Remember that jealousy stems from your lack of confidence in a particular area and your looking to validate your life. Be confident in what you already HAVE now and use these tips when jealousy rears its ugly head !



**Give yourself a break**
Jealousy is a normal emotion. It can even be helpful because it is illuminating our own desires and insecurities that we aspire to have and see in others. There’s no reason to beat yourself up because you find yourself looking at others success. Use it as motivation to push yourself. You are not your feelings, and you get to choose how you react to them.



**Stop yourself from becoming negative**
Often when we feel jealous, we are putting someone else on a pedestal and looking at their "highlight" reel of everything great they accomplished.But what you don't see is HOW they got there.What may seem like a huge accomplishment to you on the outside, might have taken years of failure to get there. OF course the most common reaction is to knock them down to rationalize your life but that isn't necessary.
We’ve all experienced these conversations: One woman makes a comment about another’s amazing body (or significant other, or life choices, etc.), and there is that one person who starts to just put her down and others just join in. Be the standout and avoid conversions like these. Instead insert a compliment about that person and then walk away!!


**Become curious about WHY your jealous**
Here is a great point to think of : All we see in the world are reflections of our own perception. Jealousy is a powerful indicator of where we’d like to go but we didn't find ourselves there quite yet.


Find out where are your feelings coming from and then you can see where you need to improve in YOUR life to make it better.
For example : If you find yourself envious of someone else’s job, are you dissatisfied with your own?
Do you secretly want to change professions?
Is it really her schedule and freedom that’s appealing to you?
Instead of directing that energy outwardly by being negative, shine that light back unto yourself and find ways to make your own life better based on the desires you see in others. Explore where your feeling is coming from.Not only is this less negative, it’s productive! It can help you explore what you want for yourself and drive you forward!

*Share praises and complements often*
his takes practice, but it’s so gratifying once you get in the habit.
Does that woman have an amazing deadlift? BRAVO!
Does your neighbor seem to have a super supportive relationship? Good on her!
Is that lady on the talk show doing something you’d like to do in the world? High-five, talk show lady!

I truly believe the sooner you start applauding those ahead of you, the sooner you’ll join them. Like the saying goes: Surround yourself with like minded people!
But if every time you see someone doing something you’d like to do, you give them a big, nasty thumbs-down, you sure haven’t indicated that’s what you want for yourself. You are literally saying “no” to your desires. Your attitude is half the battle in success. You need to be motivating and positive to those around you because you want them to do the same for your success.
Women are taught that we are in competition against each other. For significant others, for the perfect body, for being the best Mother, and on and on.Rarely does this elective competition actually serve us.

When it comes to having what you want in life, there is room for all of us. One person’s success doesn’t keep you from it. In fact, that may be just the person to help pull you along.

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